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One reason to cling to high standards is that we aren’t proud of our own life, so we want to self-sabotage by keeping people distanced from us.
To counteract this, build a happy single life first.
If you replace any perfectionistic tendencies you may have with more realistic ones then that compassion that you will be extending to yourself will carry over into how you search for partners.
There are likely a few things that you have always told yourself are absolute deal breakers for you when it comes to finding a partner for yourself.
While true intimacy is anxiety producing and often confronting, the potential pain you could experience from losing your love will be nothing compared to the low-lying anxiety you’ll feel on a daily basis by unconsciously deciding to remain single forever.–Simplify your expectations. I find that if we dig deeply enough we can boil down our relationship “must have” list to three things. My criteria are as follows: someone who is self-aware, someone who has passions outside of our relationship, and someone who embraces my sensitive nature. Everything outside of those three things is an awesome bonus. Maybe none of those appeal to you in the slightest, and that’s fine.
We all have unique needs and emotional hot buttons. What three things do you truly need in a partner to make your heart soar with joy?
Do you really need someone with a minimum of 10 stamps in their passport, or do you simply want a partner with a sense of adventure?Could it be possible that you’re hiding behind your standards to keep yourself out of relationships?I mean, if no one can ever meet your standards then you’ll never have to fall in love and risk being hurt.When I pick up my phone on Friday night and hit the screen to order transportation, I expect to have a car at my building within minutes.When I get into that car, I can sync my Bluetooth, and I expect my streaming music to start playing.
Are you establishing healthy boundaries about what you will or won’t accept in an intimate partner, or are you just being picky?